Adrift

Let there be no lie, no self-deception
my moral compass lies silent,
overridden by exceptions
that mock my own principles.

What a falsehood before the banished legion
those spiritually slothful and unappetizing beings!
I have died within.
I bleed with the anguish of self-awareness,
a finite and mortal being adrift destitute
in the wreckage of my own sensory laws.
Oh, the sorrow! The torment!

A sadness both exalted by virtue
limited by the well-being of a finite future.
An endless, dual agony
extinguishes for unattainable,
& cancels any hope of salvation,
contradictory happiness.

I live, a soul bartered away,
condemned to an illusory temporality
sensuality outside of time
a frenetic frenzy fueled
by heightened sensitivity
seeks to drown out the discordant notes
that pierce me.
I feel the suffering,
consumed by matter,
a puppet at the mercy of applause.

I dance in steps defy the mortification
anchorite’s flesh, a cynical purist,
a pastoral senses atrophied martyr
aesthetic gravitations transcend nature,

leading me into a deeper slavery.